The Space called Me

INTRODUCTION

I’ve been reading about Douglas Harding’s pointing experiments. And found a story about a young girl who was told to go and wash her face in the mirror. When someone came to check on her they saw the girl had climbed onto the sink and was washing her reflection in the glass.

As a sited person, I’m very used to seeing reflections of my body all the time. As technology has progressed, I’m more and more familiar with images of my body being captured digitally, and I’m very used to mistaking those images and reflections of my body as my body itself, or even as me the person – WilL. I see a photo, or hear my voice on a film, and say ‘that’s me.’ But its not really me is it? Its an image, or a sound, or a piece of data.

I heard a story about Picasso. A man once told him he should paint people as they really are, and then produced a photo of his wife from his wallet as an example. The painter responded, ‘Your wife is rather small and flat isn’t she?’

PART 1 – POINTING AT THE CAMERA

Set yourself up somewhere comfortable, where you can sit in front of your device so that it can see you in selfie mode. Make sure the camera can see you, and the screen displays what’s being seen by the camera. If you want to use one of the apps – seeing AI or google lookout, then use that here. Otherwise just use the normal camera feature on your device. Pause the sound of me speaking here if you need a moment to set up, and press play again when you are ready.

Without facing your screen directly, take a couple of breaths as you’re sitting and notice how you are. How you are sitting? Where have you chosen to put your feet? Your hands? And how is the room around you? The temperature? The sounds? And now face the screen. Its something many of us do a great deal. In this moment, can you notice anything particular about how it feels to face the camera? What happens to your posture? The line of your spine? The length of your neck? What has happened to your awareness of the room? The space around you?

Point with your finger towards the screen that’s showing you now, and as you keep pointing, ask yourself, what are you pointing at? Is it you over there on the screen? Is that your face? Your body? Or is it your reflection? Or is it just a piece of technology? Plastic and metal? Is your face here, where you are listening? Or there, where you are pointing?

Now point your finger back towards your face, and notice or imagine what the person on the screen does. They point back towards their face too. What is your finger, this side of the screen, pointing at? Is there a face there that you can perceive?

Now drop your pointing finger. Check your face is lined up with the camera, and take a selfie. Depending on your tech you might need to press play again on this sound of my voice after you’ve done it. Return to selfie mode afterward.

When the photo is done, take a couple more breaths…and ask yourself…has anything changed in how you feel, now that you know a moment of you has been captured? Have you checked the photo and judged yourself in any way? If your in seeing AI or google lookout app, how did you feel about the description it gave you?

Back in selfie mode, point again at the camera that’s looking at you, and then point back at what the camera is looking at. Go back and forth, asking yourself, what am I pointing at there? What am I pointing at here?

You can stop pointing now.

How often do we give ourselves away to the image being captured in the technology? One of the apps described what it could see as a ‘37 year old man with brown hair and a moustache looking neutral.’ That’s not what I see from here, in this space called Me. If you were going to describe yourself now, without using the screen or app for reference, how would you do it?

PART 2 – MOVING ATTENTION

We’re going to work now with moving our attention to and from the screen in different ways. All the movements that you do in this section should feel easy and comfortable for you. So work gently, and if anything doesn’t feel comfortable, or possible, then you can make a smaller movement. Or even remain still, and just imagine the movement is happening. In my experience you can learn a lot from working in the imagination.

Again have your device in selfie mode and if possible, set your device up so that both hands are free. Let’s start by facing towards where you sense the screen is. We will call this your mid point. Now lightly move just your eyes, or if you prefer your entire face to the right of the mid point, and back again. Do this a couple of times. Keep it soft. As you move, look for differences in your feeling sense, the feel of yourself, when you look at the screen, compared to when you look away.

Now do the same but to the left
and then up above the screen
and then down below it
and finally play with this movement in any direction.
Then take a pause.

Doing this reminds of working as an actor on screen or with an audience. I’m aware of a point of view that’s watching me, and I’m working to and from that point. Sometimes looking at it directly, and sometimes allowing it to look at me as I look elsewhere.

Let’s try the same movements, but this time with one or both palms of your hands resting over your eye sockets. If you’ve only been working with the eyes, now do move the head too.

Lets repeat the same 4 directions. Left, right, up and down.
This time notice how the rest of the body is called to be involved. What’s happening in your collar bones? Your shoulder blades? Your belly? Can you feel any movement in your pelvis?
Finish again by playing with the movement in any direction.
Then take a pause.

How do you feel now if you face the screen?

Often when I face a screen I forget that I even have a face, and a body. I forget that each part of myself is a moving part with its own traces of sensation. And I forget that at any point I can choose to move and change my relationship to the screen over there. What is over there is perceived by me, what is here, in this space called Me.

PART 3 – MOVING CAMERA

To finish the invitation, we’re going to make a short video by moving our camera towards and away from ourselves. For this part you can listen to my instructions first, and then have a go at creating something. For this you will all need to use the regular camera app on your phone so we can make a video. You may also need someone to watch the video back with you to describe it.

When it is filming, a camera shows you what you look like. Your appearance. Which of your appearances it contains depends on the relationship between your body and the camera. If I hold my camera as close to my face as I can, it shows me to be a pinkish blur. If I extend my camera as far away as my arm can hold, it shows me to be a head, and a bit of torso. And which bit depends on which direction I hold the camera. If I put the camera on the moon, still facing me, it would show me to be a planet, surrounded by stars.

Take your camera now, press record, and start by holding the camera as close to your face as it can go. Then without looking at it, as slowly as you can, extend the camera out away from you in one direction. When you’ve reached the maximum, return along the same line, just as slowly, till your back at your face. Repeat this in as many directions as you can think of! Left, right, up, down, behind, in front, diagonals….do at least 6. Always coming back to and away from the super close up of the skin of your face. Pause here to make the film, then press play to hear how we will wrap things up.

Once you’ve made the film, either watch the film back yourself, or show it to someone and ask them to describe it to you. As you experience the video back, I have 4 questions for you to consider.

Is there any part of the video that feels more like you?
Is there any part of the video that feels less like you?
Is there any part of the video that is definitely not you?
What’s the difference between the you asking these questions, and the you on the video?

We’d love to read your responses to those questions on the In Body diary, or for you to send us your moving camera video. If we collect enough of them we can make one film that joins them all together!

That’s it for now, remember whatever that is over there on the screen, its not you!
Thank you
WilL